Random Musings (or, diary of a tired mom)

We're on our third day as parents of three Whos, and today was definitely a challenge. The baby napped a total of 1 hour. Yup, ONE HOUR. She's having crib phobia -- not sure why -- and screamed hysterically last night every time I tried to put her in bed. So she finally fell asleep strapped to me in the baby carrier as I tried in vain to stay awake. I propped myself up so I wouldn't roll over, and eventually I was able to get her in the crib. But oh, my aching neck and back!

The big girls didn't nap either today. Who II tried to pick up the squirming baby and wound up dropping her on her head. Who I had massive meltdowns. It's time to get them back in their routine, so off to school they go tomorrow. Mom and Dad need a day to recover!

The best part of the day was when I put Baby Who in her special Baby Who-sized bathtub. Who I decided she wanted in the tub too, so the two of them hung out and splashed each other and laughed. It was great to see the baby engage big sister. Who II was mad that she couldn't get in the tub too, but there simply was no room for 70 pounds of two big sisters and another 14 pounds of baby sister, plus the baby tub. She gets the next turn!

Switching to a zone defense after playing man-to-man isn't easy. I find myself constantly stopping to think, "How am I going to fix lunch for the big girls and feed the baby at the same time?" or "The baby's wet but the big girls appear poised to play with sharp kitchen utensils. What to do?" Bedtime is a challenge while Baby Who has her anti-crib fits; if I put her in the crib, she screams bloody murder. But it's important to have time with the big Whos, especially Who II, who has four songs we sing nightly as our bedtime ritual. Hopefully we'll get the baby into a routine where she's asleep before the big girls, and it all will be easier. Cross your fingers (and feel free to clear all knives, forks and other utensils from my kitchen).

On a different note, I know many people have speculated that the Olympics next year are part of the reason for the slowdown in China. I don't know whether that's true or not, but our coordinator in China indicated that our agency expects families to continue to travel during the Olympics. But instead of going to Beijing first, she said families would go straight to their province. Not sure if other agencies are saying the same, but it's what we were told.

I also want to say something about the people we met while in China. We were blessed with a travel group that brought wonderful perspective to our journey. There was the family who adopted a 12-year-old girl who sings like an angel -- yet has no sight. There was another couple who came to adopt their eighth child -- a little girl who didn't speak English, yet told our coordinator (who translated) that she loved her new mom and dad and that the sad times were over. Every single person in our travel group was special.

We also met a couple with another agency who met their daughter, only to realize something was terribly wrong. Their agency helped them get medical advice and it turns out she had severe cerebral palsy. This was an NSN adoption. They agonized over what to do, but because of family circumstances at home, decided they had to decline the referral. It was heartbreaking to give up the daughter they'd fallen in love with.

The woman wanted to come home empty-handed. Her husband urged her to continue and see if the CCAA would give them another referral. Ultimately, that's what happened. They came home with a daughter, just not the one they expected. They chose a new name. And they still grieve for the first daughter, even as they hope getting her condition diagnosed will mean she finds a family able to adopt a child with her special needs.

Many of us have read the account of a similar case in which no new referral was issued. It's a scary prospect no matter where you stand. But to see this family, witness their heartache personally, all I can say is that I hope never to judge another family for the decisions they make. And I wish them -- and BOTH their daughters -- the best.