Random Musings (or, diary of a tired mom)

We're on our third day as parents of three Whos, and today was definitely a challenge. The baby napped a total of 1 hour. Yup, ONE HOUR. She's having crib phobia -- not sure why -- and screamed hysterically last night every time I tried to put her in bed. So she finally fell asleep strapped to me in the baby carrier as I tried in vain to stay awake. I propped myself up so I wouldn't roll over, and eventually I was able to get her in the crib. But oh, my aching neck and back!

The big girls didn't nap either today. Who II tried to pick up the squirming baby and wound up dropping her on her head. Who I had massive meltdowns. It's time to get them back in their routine, so off to school they go tomorrow. Mom and Dad need a day to recover!

The best part of the day was when I put Baby Who in her special Baby Who-sized bathtub. Who I decided she wanted in the tub too, so the two of them hung out and splashed each other and laughed. It was great to see the baby engage big sister. Who II was mad that she couldn't get in the tub too, but there simply was no room for 70 pounds of two big sisters and another 14 pounds of baby sister, plus the baby tub. She gets the next turn!

Switching to a zone defense after playing man-to-man isn't easy. I find myself constantly stopping to think, "How am I going to fix lunch for the big girls and feed the baby at the same time?" or "The baby's wet but the big girls appear poised to play with sharp kitchen utensils. What to do?" Bedtime is a challenge while Baby Who has her anti-crib fits; if I put her in the crib, she screams bloody murder. But it's important to have time with the big Whos, especially Who II, who has four songs we sing nightly as our bedtime ritual. Hopefully we'll get the baby into a routine where she's asleep before the big girls, and it all will be easier. Cross your fingers (and feel free to clear all knives, forks and other utensils from my kitchen).

On a different note, I know many people have speculated that the Olympics next year are part of the reason for the slowdown in China. I don't know whether that's true or not, but our coordinator in China indicated that our agency expects families to continue to travel during the Olympics. But instead of going to Beijing first, she said families would go straight to their province. Not sure if other agencies are saying the same, but it's what we were told.

I also want to say something about the people we met while in China. We were blessed with a travel group that brought wonderful perspective to our journey. There was the family who adopted a 12-year-old girl who sings like an angel -- yet has no sight. There was another couple who came to adopt their eighth child -- a little girl who didn't speak English, yet told our coordinator (who translated) that she loved her new mom and dad and that the sad times were over. Every single person in our travel group was special.

We also met a couple with another agency who met their daughter, only to realize something was terribly wrong. Their agency helped them get medical advice and it turns out she had severe cerebral palsy. This was an NSN adoption. They agonized over what to do, but because of family circumstances at home, decided they had to decline the referral. It was heartbreaking to give up the daughter they'd fallen in love with.

The woman wanted to come home empty-handed. Her husband urged her to continue and see if the CCAA would give them another referral. Ultimately, that's what happened. They came home with a daughter, just not the one they expected. They chose a new name. And they still grieve for the first daughter, even as they hope getting her condition diagnosed will mean she finds a family able to adopt a child with her special needs.

Many of us have read the account of a similar case in which no new referral was issued. It's a scary prospect no matter where you stand. But to see this family, witness their heartache personally, all I can say is that I hope never to judge another family for the decisions they make. And I wish them -- and BOTH their daughters -- the best.

Day 1 as a family of five

The most important advice I can give anyone returning from an international adoption is this: Naps are your friend. Your BEST friend.

It's not just when the new baby naps, or when the siblings nap. It's when YOU nap.

Today, as we marked Day 1 as a family of five, I loved my nap. The big girls and little girl went down, and daddy fell asleep too. I was puttering around the house and it suddenly dawned on me: SLEEP WHILE YOU CAN! So I did. Aaaahhh!

Cate had us up sporadically from midnight to 2 a.m., then from 2 to 4 a.m. solid. She slept from 4 a.m. until almost 11 a.m., when I finally woke her up. But she still took her afternoon nap, and I'm hoping she'll do better tonight.

Her cold seems better, but her cheeks -- irritated by the White Swan baby bedding -- are still red. I'm sure we still have ear infection issues, but she's managing.

Her big sisters have mixed reactions. Who I adores her, lugs her around, wants to help feed and change her -- even the poopy diaper, which we'd waited three days for. She tells us, "She's a sweet baby, Mama. And she's cuddly!" Who II is less sure of what it all means. Her nose has been a bit out of joint today, understandably. When I asked both girls if they were glad I went to China to bring home baby sister, Who I emphatically said "Yes!" at the same time her sister shook her head "No!" Ah, siblings!

Cate is warming up to daddy but still gets anxious if I leave the room. She seems pretty content to play with her sisters and explore the house. Tonight she crawled up the stairs from the playroom. Egad!

Tomorrow will be interesting on two fronts. First, we bring the dog home from the kennel. We'll see how that goes! Then we plan to attend our FCC Moon Festival. It'll be our first outing with three children. Attention, friends -- if you see a grown woman sucking her thumb, that's probably me!

I'm off to take my own advice -- to sleep while I can. Enjoy!

Better late than never

We finally made it home today, about 20 hours later than planned. And it was no fun.

We had uneventful flights from Guangzhou and Hong Kong, even made it to Chicago early. But O'Hare was a nightmarish gauntlet of immigration, customs, long security lines and trying to find the right elevator to take us to the right concourse. We finally made it to our gate and were resting up, so after getting us something to drink and changing Cate, I decided to go to the ladies room to freshen up. I hadn't done more than doze on the plane, and mom hadn't slept at all, but we were almost home, and we were keeping the prize in sight. Still, I figured a clean shirt and a little deodorant wouldn't hurt.

I came out five minutes later and found Mom nearly unresponsive, slumped over on the bench as Cate looked up worriedly from her perch on the floor at her feet. It was obvious that either exhaustion, or something else, had taken its toll, and we had a problem.

The flight attendant called the paramedics, and instead of hopping on the 6:05 flight, we dodged planes on the tarmac as an ambulance took us to Resurrection Medical Center in Chicago. Mom kept insisting that Cate and I come on home. There was no way I was leaving her, so Cate and I hopped into the front seat of the ambulance while mom rode in the back with the medics.

It was not where either of us wanted to be, and mom, after reviving sufficiently and hearing that her CAT scan showed no evidence of stroke, decided she was checking herself out against doctor's orders. So we spent the night in an extremely overpriced hotel, where the second bed amounted to a horrible pull-out couch, then rented a car today and drove the 3.5 hours home (mom couldn't fly because United would have demanded medical clearance, which the doctor wouldn't give).

Talk about a dramatic end to the trip.

I never imagined my reunion with my family, to introduce their long-awaited baby sister, would take place in the parking lot of a car rental company. But it did, and the fact that we were all there -- especially mom -- made the location not matter a whit. No, there are no sweet photos of the girls meeting Cate for the first time, and there's no hysterical video of us trying to find the van or use a car seat for the first time. But we all made it home, and that's what counts.

I'll post photos tomorrow when I'm conscious. Here's hoping Who III sleeps well into the night.

Almost home!

Well, it's our last official day in Guangzhou. We had our famous red couch pictures, which I'll try to post from the Blenz coffee shop that's letting me use its computer for free, and we'll head to the consulate this afternoon. Then it's off to the airport at 7 a.m. tomorrow, with estimated arrival at home at 8:08 p.m. via United. PLEASE let everything go smoothly, as Miss Squirm Worm will be a challenge to keep occupied.

Mom's coming home with a bum left wing -- she took a tumble at the Chen family temple yesterday. Scared the daylights out of me. We had one of our travelmates, an orthopedic nurse, look at it. Don't think it's broken, though there could be a fracture, but she has limited range of motion. But she's a tough bird and is coping.

Leaving China this time is more emotional than before. Partly because we fought so hard for Who III, partly because I know we won't be back for many years -- until the big girls are old enough to understand. We've been blessed with so much from this country that it's hard to say goodbye. Yet no one will be happier than I when we hit US soil.

One of the best parts about this journey, besides getting Cate, was that our coordinator, Catherine, was the same person who guided us during our 2004 trip when we met both girls who eventually became Who I and II. It brings us full circle, and it's been so special to have her with us.

We've also met many lovely people. Today I explained the China adoption process to an older British couple who were dining at the White Swan and wondered why there were so many Caucasian families with Asian babies. We have been blessed with a wonderful travel group. And our friends and family at home have kept us going even when things seemed impossible.

Thank you, all, for what you've given us. Our blessings extend well beyond the Three Whos.

Next post will be from HOME!

Guangzhou

Greetings from Guangzhou, where it's hot and steamy but we're glad to be out of the big cities and away from the traffic.

Our flight out of Nanchang was a nightmare -- China Southern had a 6 hour delay, no reason cited (certainly not weather!). We didn't arrive at the White Swan until 2:30 a.m., with lots of babies who hadn't slept and very tired parents. But the babies were real soldiers, did a great job.

We passed our medical exam with flying colors, despite a runny nose that hasn't quit and has evolved into an ear infection. We stopped by the White Swan clinic last night for some good Chinese medicine and hope to be on the mend before we hit the plane Wednesday morning.

The shopping in Guangzhou feels different this time -- I'm not buying everything in sight, but being selective and opting for quality over quantity this time. We found a beautiful painting of a Caucasian mother with Chinese daughter (and cat!). I'm thrilled, but my greatest Chinese treasure is Who III, who continues to amaze and delight despite her cold.

Today we strolled through the park and saw people doing Tai Chi and ballroom dancing. It was absolutely lovely.

Yesterday saw us visit a very expensive jade shop. Nice to look, not so nice to buy on our budget. But I did get a picture of the Lamborghini Guangzhou dealership for hubby. He'll be thrilled!

Later today we'll go bargain for pearls. Whee!

Mom's been a great traveling companion, willing to see everything and go everywhere. But I"m sure she'll be glad to get home to the super pups.

Probably our last post from here, as we'll have our Consulate appointment and try to pack all our goodies up for a safe flight home.

USA, here we come!

Of Temples and fries

Today we visited the Teng Wang pavilion in Nanchang, where we watched a wonderful show with dancing and singing -- and a special performance of "Oh Susannah＂on the Chinese ertu. Pretty funny! Afterward, we made our way back to the hotel on our own, fending off a beggar woman who apparently took offense at my telling her "no."　We're pretty sure she called me a nasty name in Chinese. Oh well, you can't please 'em all!

Cate slept through the whole thing. Her cold and the teething really knocked her out today. She's generally a very happy baby, so we knew she was under the weather when she was fussy. So we let her sleep.

Later, we bundled her up (it's actually COOL in Nanchang and very breezy!) and headed to drop off the disposable camera with pictures the orphanage took of her. Can't wait to pick it up tomorrow. We then went to a pedestrian mall, where we were definitely a sideshow. Mom thinks she gets stared at a lot with her white hair. I think any white faces are a novelty. It won't be that way when we arrive in Guangzhou Friday, so we're enjoying the experience. I'm also looking forward to less traffic -- crossing the streets here with a baby stroller is a death-defying experience (almost as harrowing as riding in the taxi yesterday!).

We managed to order double cheeseburgers at McDonald's, and they tasted pretty much like home. It was a nice change from rice!

Tomorrow we'll visit a park and a porcelain shop. Jiangxi is known for its porcelain, so I hope to find something special for Cate to remember her homeland. This country has given us the most beautiful gifts -- our three daughters -- and we want to celebrate that heritage whenever we can.

We can't wait to get Cate home to meet the big Whos and daddy! We're halfway there!

GOTCHA!

We have Who III! Little Miss Cate came into my arms about 10:40 a.m. Monday in China (10:40 p.m. Sunday for most folks back home). She never cried, studied me, looked out the window and quickly was cracking smiles. What a joy she is!

She's soooo tiny, but strong. She reminds us so much of Who I as a baby -- full of life, active as can be and a great sense of humor. Mom and I are in love, and we know Whos I & II and Baba will be too.

Monday was an exhausting day. After meeting the babies, we went to register the adoptions, get the passport photos taken and then to the notary. The registration office was swarming with adoptive families and it took more than two hours for us to have our turn. Then at the passport office the official discovered an error in our paperwork, which meant we had to come back today after the orphanage fixed the problem. We finally got the babies back to the hotel around 6:30 p.m.

Today was much more relaxed -- a trip to Walmart. Cate stayed with Mimi at the hotel napping while I went to find Huggies in the smallest size possible. Our third Who is TINY, and none of the clothes or diapers I brought fit her. The dresses will stay on, but pants ... she has no waist, no bottom ... it's a riot. One of our travelmates gave us her 3-6 months clothes that didn't fit her daughter, and I'm giving her our 6-9 months.

Our group is great. More maturity here, with 3 sets of grandparents among the 5 families. All but one couple (who got twins) are experienced parents. It's just really cool to see.

Our coordinator, who was with us on our first adoption journey, says Who III reminds her of our first daughter. We can't agree more, and I see now all the reasons for the delays. We were meant to have THIS child. And if we'd gotten a referral months ago, as we originally thought we would, she wouldn't have been ours. It's simply unimaginable.

Ni Hao from Beijing

Greetings from Beijing, where it's a lot cooler than our 2004 trip but we're just as exhausted as before!

We had a long but uneventful flight to China on Wednesday/Thursday. Yesterday took us to Tiannanmen Square, the Forbidden City and then to a Chinese acrobatics show that my Big Whos would have loved. Today saw the Great Wall, where a crew was filming a Visa commercial (Visa -- it's accepted everywhere, even on the Great Wall!). Pretty interesting!

Mom did a great job making it up the wall. We did a little power shopping too (when in Rome ...). Now our bags are packed for our morning flight to Nanchang, where we'll meet Who III Monday morning (Sunday night EDT). We can't wait!

We got an update on our newest Who: She has a little cough but is healthy, and is described as very active. She should fit right in!

And we're off!

The time is FINALLY here -- in about 12 hours, mom and I will be on our way to China to meet Who III! This has been an agonizing wait, much harder than our first trip (which went SO smoothly!). It's taken us 9 weeks since we first learned we had a new daughter to even get on a plane, and that's simply too long.

I've spent the last two days running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Can't remember whether I packed something or not. Struggling to get online. Still no confirmation from Panda phone, but travel agent says they got confirmation. I figure I'll just show up bedraggled in Beijing and say, "You got a phone for ME?"

We're scheduled to land in China just after 3 p.m. on Thursday -- that'll be 2 a.m. to most folks back home. Sleep tight!

I hope to be able to update the blog while we're away, but we had to scrap the laptop plan because our home Internet connection has been faulty since we "upgraded" to fiberoptics. I wasn't willing to haul another 8 pounds of gear in the off chance Mr. Fixit and the Big Whos could actually read it. I plan to hit the business centers and Internet cafes instead. Wish me luck!

We could not have done this without the support of our friends and family, who have kept us fed, entertained and clinging to our sanity these last few months. We are incredibly blessed by the people in our lives, and to have the opportunity to make a difference in another child's life. It's an awesome job.

Countdown

Most folks spend their last weekend at home before heading to China doing something relaxing, or packing, or cleaning the house. Us? We ripped out the dining room carpet, painted the walls, and laid hardwood floors.

Nothing like a little deadline pressure to get our rumps in gear.

Seriously, with the arrival of Who III imminent, reality set in -- the time for home improvement projects will be gone for many months to come. The almost 4-year-olds are big helpers -- Who I hammered in boards while her sister ran the sweeper. But Baby Who isn't going to be allowed around power tools until she's at least 18 months old. No child labor available there!

The room looks good, if I do say so myself. Burgundy walls (all 8 coats -- THAT was a brilliant color choice!) on the bottom, "linen tint" on the top. I even rehung the curtains!

Wish I could say mhy packing was going as well. Still searching for the perfect combo of bags, still unsure if the laptop will actually work in China. We made the not-so-bright decision to switch our Internet and TV service to our neighborhood's new fiberoptic service. Seemed like a good idea until the installer arrived and said we were just beyond the recommended distance from the box. But he thought it would work, so here we are.

When it works, it's great. But our Internet has been really unreliable since it was installed, so I'm panicking that I may haul the beastly laptop to China for naught. The whole point was to use Skype and call home and use the Web cam to see my big girls and let them see baby sister. None of those functions is working well right now. So I'm agonizing. Nothing like having a Libra trying to make a big decision under pressure. AAAACK!!!

I keep telling myself to breathe. In a few days, none of this will matter. T-minus 60 hours .....