Wasting away in the Review Room

Yes, I'm still searching for my lost shaker of salt. Oh yeah, and my referral.

News from the front is that we've been skipped again. But take heart, dear friends -- this time, it's not just us but our WHOLE AGENCY! Apparently CCAA could only match through 11/7 this time, and our agency doesn't have folks logged in until 11/8. Wouldn'tcha know it?

So it's July at the earliest, and at this point, I have to stop holding my breath.

So we're living large in Whoville. I booked a girls-only beach vacation. In a true testament to my lousy mental state (BUT NO, I do NOT take medication for it, in case the CCAA is watching), I plan to board a plane with the Two Whos (mind you, their collective age is only 7) and travel hours to the sand and surf of New England. Solo.

I'm using carefully hoarded vacation time (score one point for me), even more precious $$$ (ka-ching!) and getting out of Dodge! (You hear that, folks? Send me a referral when I have no paid time off and less money to pay the final adoption expenses. Test me!)

And to sweeten the pot, I get to go out of town for SIX WHOLE DAYS the last week of July for work. That's just a couple of weeks or less before the July referral folks will be traveling to China, most likely. KARMA! At this point, it wouldn't surprise me at all.

But I'm trying to hunker down and prepare for a longer haul. On the bright side, at this rate, the girls will be able to do all the feeding and diapering!

I'm off to margaritaville now, where the sun is hot, the sand is white and the little umbrella in my drink has a pointy edge I just might poke myself with.

T minus two weeks?

Sometime in the next couple of weeks, our lives will be out of limbo. Either we'll get a referral call or we'll be stuck in the line from hell for another 18 months (or more!!!). Howzat, you ask?

Our agency heard back from CCAA, which said they've changed their policy -- unbeknownst to our agency or, apparently, to a bunch of others. Families going off hold now won't get a referral in the next couple of batches as in the past, they told our agency -- instead, they'll get moved to the matching room with whatever group from that agency is moving next, then sit and gather dust until that group comes due for referrals. For us, that means we'd be lumped in with the April '06 folks.

Now, no offense to the April '06 folks. You're a lovely bunch of people. But we started this journey in September 2005, when the wait was 6 months or less. We DO NOT WANT TO WAIT another 18 months, or more, to see baby sister's face.

We're getting older. Our girls would be nearly in kindergarten before baby sister arrived at that rate.

Our agency says they've appealed to CCAA, and they've been told CCAA will "try" to match us with the next group. But there's no guarantee. And when I asked if we aren't in the next batch, do we appeal again, I got silence -- like it's one or the other.

It's taking every bit of restraint I have not to be mad as hell right now. In my profession, we have a duty to get to the bottom of things -- to the truth. So we ask hard questions. WHEN did this policy take effect? WHY wasn't my agency told -- or others, as it seems. And -- here's the big one -- HOW do you explain the fact that people with other agencies who went off hold AFTER we did HAVE THEIR REFERRALS? Why is the "policy change" affecting us (and another family from our agency) but not those people?

I don't begrudge those folks their babies one iota. Godspeed to them -- get those angels home. But I do want to know why we are being told one thing when it's obvious from the DTC groups and referral postings that this is not being applied consistently.

I've always said adoption is the biggest leap of faith you'll ever take. I believe that with all my heart. And this is testing my faith to the extreme. I pray I have peace over whatever we hear from our agency in the next couple of weeks. And I pray they will not give up the fight if we're skipped again this time, that I put my faith in the right agency when things got tough.

Mostly, I pray for the right words to answer DD#1 when she asks, daily, "Where's baby sister?"

Bumming Out

The stork passed our house by when he flew in from China today. No one at our agency can tell us when we'll be included, because CCAA won't say. They promised to advocate for us as soon as CCAA gets back to work next week. I'm not holding my breath that it'll do much good.

I'd tried to prepare myself for no news this time around. Thought I'd done an OK job, until I got the official word. Then I blubbered like a 3-year-old all afternoon. Nothing like letting the worker bees see management bawling and snuffling to get the tongues a-waggin'!

I think it wouldn't be so hard to be skipped this time if we had ANY CLUE as to when we WILL be up for a referral. But apparently, that's a secret being guarded like Fort Knox. And I really don't want to ride the rollercoaster with each referral batch (the only rollercoaster I ever rode, besides the mini-tree topper at Opryland in my misguided youth, was Space Mountain at DisneyWorld. I got whiplash. Never again!). So I may just have to go into a 12-step program for Internet junkies, banning all rumor sites and other groups.

Good luck with that, right?

But to all those whose stork laid a baby in their arms instead of a pile of doo, hearty congratulations. I know it's been a long time coming, and seeing those precious faces in time for Mother's Day is something you'll never forget.

Off to my wine-soothing pity party now. Sleep tight!

Picture Perfect (Almost)

For two years, I've been trying to get my act together to submit a picture for our local FCC calendar. It's a great calendar featuring Chinese adoptees from all over the world, and last year its sales let our FCC board send oodles of money back to China to help the children still there. It's an amazing thing, and certainly a cause near and dear to my heart.

Until this year, we've been relegated to a spot in the group photo on the back cover because I've never been organized enough to get a photo taken in time. This year, I swore it'd be different. So we scheduled the pix last weekend, only to have Whos I & II wake up with snot all over their faces. Ewww. Green boogies aren't really what I want to see in a beautiful calendar. So we canceled and decided to try again today. Folks, I think we have a winner! Only thing missing from the picture is .... Baby Sister. By now, you've probably figured out it was not the Stork flying in that DHL package, but a Do-Do bird. And now we hear there's no guarantee the stork will fly our way with this next batch of referrals.

Why the uncertainty? We have an LID that's irrelevant because we went on hold for several months (more on that later). And now that we're back in the game, all CCAA will tell our agency is that we're in the matching room. But it's a great mystery as to which group we're with. We could get a phone call next week or next year. Only the CCAA knows, and they're not talking.

Note to CCAA: A little suspense goes a lonnnnnng way in our house. How 'bout a hint? Just a teeny one?

Who (or what) is in a Name?

So who, you ask, are Three Whos? And why is this blog named for them? The answer is elementary, my Dear Watson.

During our wait for darling daughter No. 1, we referred to her as The Who. As in, "Look at the 800th gorgeous dress-she'll-never-wear that I bought for The Who?" Perhaps my inner child was trying to reconnect with Dr. Seuss; maybe I was just caught up in paper pregnancy insanity. But The Who she became, and it stuck.

Eventually, The Who came home and morphed into a name of her own -- and no, it is not Cindy Lou. But then along came a sister, who sat down beside her and annoyed Miss Who all day. Naturally, sister was Who II. Hey, we lack originality.

So it stands to reason -- at least to this addled brain -- that the third, and final, entry in our family Olympics must be (drum roll please ...) WHO III!

I'm sure you were hoping for something scintillating tonight, perhaps a Haiku or even a rhyme worthy of Dr. S himself, but I'm fresh out. Just let the record show there will be NO WHO IV. The sequels are about to end.

We're told there's a DHL package on its way to our agency. But is it the stork, or just a giant Do-Do bird? We hope to know Thursday!

Hitting the Wall

China is calling us -- figuratively, at least. Now, if only our adoption agency would with news that we have a third daughter! We started this journey in May 2005, little knowing that two years later, at the ripe old ages of 45 and 41, we'd still be sitting in traffic (known hereafter as The @!#$!! Wait), desperately trying to reach our destination before we run out of gas. It's been a trip filled with unexpected detours, but it finally looks like the traffic jam is clearing. Wait, look ahead -- is that a STORK I see? Buckle up, kids -- this could get interesting.